A hot-tempered person stirs up conflict, but the one who is patient calms a quarrel. Proverbs 15:18 (NIV)
For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people. It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age…” Titus 2:11 (NIV)
Patience is the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset. We all need to be patient in life. And that’s because, without patience, it impossible to serve God. … Patience is the ability to hold back and persevere through all forms of temptations and trials. It is one of the main qualities we need to put on as Christians.
Self-Control is the ability to control oneself, in particular one’s emotions and desires or the expression of them in one’s behavior, especially in difficult situations. Self-control is essential in behavior to achieve goals and to avoid impulses and emotions that could be negative. Self-control is an effort that is intended to help achieve the goal of success. Failing to control oneself often leads to failure.
As we look at the two differing, but very similar definitions of these two words, we have to ponder whether we can have one without the other. Let’s take a look at the life of some of the biblical characters who exhibited these virtues.
Patience
- Abraham and Sarah trusted God and they waited patiently for him. This doesn’t mean they waited perfectly. They took matters into their own hands at times. But God’s grace covered them, and He still fulfilled His promise, in His perfect timing.
- Joseph trusted God while we waited. He could have been scared and angry at what his brothers did to him and how he ended up in jail because of a lie. But he faithfully worked with a good attitude while he waited through life in Egypt. He became friends with the king and God used his new relationships to provide for his family.
- Hannah was constantly mocked because of her inability to become pregnant. This went on for years. However, Hannah demonstrated grace and dignity by holding her tongue and continued to pray for a child. God honored her diligence and patience, and Hannah became pregnant and gave birth to a son, Samuel.
Self-Control
- Nehemiah showed self-control and didn’t fight back when his enemy came against him. Instead, while working to rebuild the wall in Jerusalem, Nehemiah strategically stationed some of his men to be guards while the others worked. Nehemiah knew that God would protect them. He acted calmly and with self-control
- David could have killed Saul, who was trying to kill him! David showed self-control because he knew that God still wanted Saul to be king. David said to Saul, “For by the fact that I cut off the corner of your robe and did not kill you, you may know and see that there is no wrong or treason in my hands”. 1 Samuel 24:11
- Jesus exhibited self-control when Satan offered Him control over the whole world, but Jesus knew that God’s kingdom would eventually be the only kingdom. Jesus is the perfect expression of all the fruits of the Spirit, including self-control. The bible tells us that while Jesus was in the Garden of Gethsemane, He instructed His disciple to have some self-control when he wanted to fight those coming to arrest Jesus. ~~ 52 “Put your sword back in its place,” Jesus said to him, “for all who draw the sword will die by the sword. 53 Do you think I cannot call on my Father, and he will at once put at my disposal more than twelve legions of angels? 54 But how then would the Scriptures be fulfilled that say it must happen in this way?” Matthew 26:52-54
To be successful in life we need both of these virtues, they go hand in hand:
Self-control can help reduce impulsive behavior, eliminate bad habits, improve mental focus and enhance your decision-making capacity.
Patience helps you make thoughtful decisions, cultivate lasting relationships, find inner peace and learn to be kind to others.
Do you see the similarities? The question remains, Can You Have One Without the Other?
